Tag: Deception

SOZO Inner Healing Deception


“Christianized inner healing internally regresses a person into his/her past and, by various mystical and outright shamanistic procedures, then introduces the ‘actual, real, living’ Jesus within the person’s altered state of consciousness. By this procedure the past mystically becomes present. The conjured Jesus figure will not only heal the past, but will change the facts of history in order to bring about the desired healing”~Orrel Steinkamp

SOZO is a popular inner healing method that originated from Bethel Church in Redding California. However, SOZO ministry has spread all over the United States, and is popular in many churches. The name SOZO is used because it means ‘saved, healed and delivered’ in Greek. This particular method was created by Dawna Desilva after attending Bethel Church in 1997. According to the Bethel SOZO team; “Inner healing and deliverance ministry is aimed to get to the root of things hindering your personal connection with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. With a healed connection, you can walk in the destiny to which you have been called”. Bethel SOZO ministry gives you the tools you need to bring clients seeking freedom, and puts them in a state of hypnosis, while you bring the spirit of  ‘Jesus’ to help them heal of past memories and trauma. SOZO ministry training will train you in either basic SOZO or advanced. 

The basic SOZO training includes tools such as, the Father ladder, four doors, presenting Jesus, and the wall. After you have been trained in SOZO, and have been working with these tools for at least six moths, you can go on for advanced training in SOZO. This will give you two additional tools to work with; these tools are called triggers and divine editing. Advanced training can also include prophetic deliverance and Shabar ministry. What does a SOZO session look like? Well, it is actually quite hard to find that information, and even on Bethel SOZO website, what this entails is quite vague; unless of course, you pay for the course, tools, and how to operate in them. Then in the advanced course more secrets!! This is not Biblical, and it reminds me of the occult; oh wait that’s because it is! Everything in the occult uses tools, and secrets. 

The only information for what a session consists of is that they usually run for about one and half, to three hours. They are conducted by two members; and it is reiterated that these are not counseling sessions(nobody wants lawsuits), but a time of interacting with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit for wholeness and pursuing your “destiny”. The person getting sozoed is basically put into a hypnotic, suggestible state, while these two members walk you through these tools seeking guidance and revelation from the Holy Spirit. First tool is the Father Ladder,”This is to help people connect to the trinity. The Father ladder is a “hearing God exercise”. It is the framework of the session. Then the four doors are used during sessions to attempt to identify four areas of sin that may have opened the person up to demonic possession or oppression. These four doors are hatred, occult, sexual sin, and fear. At this time the person may be asked to confess and renounce those sins so that access via an “open door” can be closed.

Next, is where the presenting Jesus tool is utilized. This is considered “the Jesus in our memories” approach to healing. Jesus presents in our past, and now we can see and hear what he has to say about painful situations to bring healing. Last tool is the wall. This tool “clears a negative blockage in a person’s soul that impedes the flow of God’s love, which can activate that person’s gifting and character in Christ”. Now after the advanced training, this includes the tool of trigger mechanism; which is a good way to bring Jesus into a past time of trauma to heal pain. Then the divine editing tool is potentially good for “jarring the mind into new thought pathways.” This entire system is completely manmade, and Jesus never taught us that in order to be made free we had to seek hypnotic type sessions with mediators. All of these are tools that are adding to Jesus’s finished work on the cross. When I gave my life to Jesus, my whole life changed, I was set free, because “Whom the son sets free, is free indeed”. There was no disclaimer. God is not asking us to seek out some pseudo-spiritual tools to free us from past memories, so that we can now walk in our destiny. God does not care about your destiny, he cares about using you as a vessel for His purpose. 

Jesus is all you need. If you are having trouble hearing God, then open your Bible. If you can’t “feel” the Holy spirit, know this, there is nowhere you can flee from His presence. There is no need to pay to go to others to connect with any member of the trinity. God’s Holy Spirit lives inside of you. There is no need to open up one’s self to a false Jesus, so that spirit can regress you to past memories or hurt. For we are now a new creation in Christ, the old has passed away. 

“Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus”.~Philippians 3:13-14

SOZO and inner healing are really nothing new. A woman by the name of Agnes Sanford introduced inner healing into Christianity. She is the author of many books, one of which was called “The Healing Light”. This book taught healing methods that are a blend of psychological, new thought, and theosophy. “The healing materials that she presented to Christians were not Bible…according to her book, “sealed orders”, she confessed reading anything and everything she could find regarding spiritual healing. She even included the literature of Mary Baker Eddy, spiritual healing, and practical Christianity, the Christian science movement and the metaphysical movement” (Inner Healing, Body Souls and Spirit, pg4). 

According to an article by John Whitcombe on the history of Christian inner healing, “In the 1940’s Agnes Sanford blended Carl Jung’s psychologized occult views with her own occult experiences and introduced them to the church. Sanford and her writings and seminars became Christian sources of Jungian occult teachings….pioneered teaching for healing memories, part of positive thinking, she believed God could work through spirits, as well as spirits who died; she taught God used mediums to heal”. Sanford also believed that “experience comes before theology”, and that sounds like many churches today. 

There is nothing Christian about inner healing methods, and there have been lives ruined by SOZO. Reports of false memories placed during sessions, and families have been ripped apart. 

This is a brief testimony from an article titled, “Victims of Bill Johnson’s Ministry Speak out”:


“My daughter attended a Sozo session at Bethel eight years ago. While in that session she experienced a so called “Recovered Memory” that I had molested her from the age of three to thirteen. That was the end of our relationship and almost the end of my life. Her mother and siblings know and have testified that it is completely false, but the damage is done. None of us in our family will ever be the same.
When I found out about this I tried to contact Bill Johnson for help. Apparently, being falsely accused of a crime that can carry a life sentence (and that resulting from one of Bethels’ ministries) is not quite enough to get his attention. I could not get past the “counseling center”. When I related what had happened to them they expressed how sorry they were at my experience and actually tried to get me to set up a counseling session. Yes, a counseling session. I declined that invitation”.

Unfortunately, I have heard many similar sad, and heartbreaking stories. SOZO is an occult method, and one people should steer clear from. If anyone needs any tools, they ought to be using scripture. God’s word is alive, and pierces through ones soul. 

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart”.~Hebrews 4:11

We have all we need in the fullness of Christ, and His grace is sufficient for every need. Do not let any man captivate you.

“See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ”.~Colossians 2:8 

The word here is captive, which means to imprison, through the philosophy of men, and the elemental forces of the world. By seeking freedom outside of anything but Jesus, you instead become bound. Any healing you think you receive is an illusion. 

     Witcombe, J. (2009, June 29). The History of Christian Inner-Healing. Retrieved from https://amazingdiscoveries.org/S-deception_Sanford_Freud_Jung

     Bethel Sozo. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://bethelsozo.com/

     What Are The Sozo’ Tools And What Do They Mean? (2014, June 10). Retrieved from https://biblehealing.wordpress.com/what-are-the-sozo-tools-and-what-do-they-mean/

     Holliday, P. (2010, February 16). Internet Church-Can Christians Believe Deceptions -. Retrieved from https://www.miracleinternetchurch.com/internet-church-can-christians-believe-deceptions/the-body-of-christ

New Apostolic Reformation Rising: The New face of Christianity

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As I sat in church that day, I had made my final decision to never return. We watched a “prophet” preach from his vain imagination and speak of vibrations and frequencies. He spoke to the congregation about the evils of religion, and the new prophetic ministry, while referring to God as “source”. I don’t recall one scripture spoke. People applauded and  never questioned nothing said. Like sheep to the slaughter…..at the end of service, the leaders all stood up. My pastor who calls himself ‘Apostle’, introduced everyone in a row. “Here we have Apostle, prophet, teacher, pastor, and evangelist; the five- fold ministry”. Their eyes were alive with anticipation. God was doing something NEW. But none of this was new. My past involvement was in the occult and New Age, and it was feeling eerily similar.

“What has been will be again; what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun”.~~Ecclesiastes 1:9 

    There is a new reformation happening in Christianity, and it is crossing many denominational lines. It is a movement that is trying to dismantle the foundation of Christianity, and building upon it by the continuation of the office of Apostle and Prophet. These positions hold special authority over churches while new revelations are  regularly accepted.  Some NAR Apostles consider themselves equal or even better than the original twelve. It is a movement replacing the word of God with feelings, and experiences. The emphasis is on signs and wonders, and elevating man. It is a direct contradiction to the word of God. Instead of being “sober- minded”, we have become “drunk in the spirit”. Instead of fear of the Lord, we have “Holy Laughter”. Instead of Bible studies, we have supernatural schools of ministry where we can learn and pay for the gifts of God. Instead of being “ye separate from the world”, we have “redeemed” the occult, slapped a Jesus label on it and said “I can make it my own”. As we move further away from the word of God, we lose our only weapon of warfare. 

 Many in the NAR camp will argue that the New Apostolic Reformation doesn’t exist and that those opposing the gifts of the spirit made this title up. Many don’t identify themselves with NAR but instead will use titles, such as, five-fold ministry or the prophetic. However, New Apostolic Reformation is a term coined by its own founder, C. Peter Wagner. Wagner was planning on doing a seminary course on it and needed to come up with a name. This movement was meant to reach between interdenominational lines, to bring it under the guise of unity. As he was coming up with a name, first it was going to be “Independent Charismatic”, but decided that not all churches are charismatic. According to Wagner, “The name I have settled on is New Apostolic Reformation. I use “reformation” because as I have said, these new wineskins appear to be at least as radical as those of the protestant reformation almost five hundred years ago” (Transforming Power of Revival, Chapter 14). This is a real name for a movement that has real intentions to reform Christianity. So those that maintain that NAR doesn’t exist, haven’t done their homework.


C. Peter Wagner gave his own explanation for what this New Apostolic Reformation was all about:

There is a new authority structure. “The amount of spiritual authority delegated by the Holy Spirit to individuals. Pastors are merely employees. But the NAR pastors are leaders of the church” (Transforming Power of Revival, chapter 14)

There is new leadership training. The focus is helping people walk in their gifts. However, even scarier is that Bible school is considered “remote”. “Continuing education for leadership takes place in conferences, seminars, and retreats, rather than accredited institutions”(Transforming Power of Revival, chapter 14). The focus of education is being taken away from the Bible and is taking on an entirely new theology of displaying powerful gifts of the spirit. Something seen at many of these NAR conferences is receiving “impartations” of a different spirit, and then taking it back to other churches. It is spreading like a virus.

New Ministry Focus. “New Apostolic ministries are vision driven”. The question is, who’s vision? Usually that vision stems from whatever vision that leadership believes the Holy Spirit has revealed to them. 

New worship style. “Worship leaders have replaced music directors, keyboards have replaced organs, casual worship teams have replaced robed choirs. Ten to twelve minutes of singing is now 49 minutes or more” (Transforming Power of Revival, Chapter 14).

New Prayer Forms.  
“Prayer in new apostolic churches has taken forms rarely seen in traditional congregations.  Some of this takes place within the church and some takes place outside the church” (Transforming Power of Revival Chapter 14).  

New Financing. “Generous giving is expected. Tithing is without apology, and those who do not tithe their incomes are subtly encouraged to evaluate their Christian lives as subpar” (Transforming Power of Revival, Chapter 14). 

New Outreach. “Aggressively reaching out to the lost and hurting of the community, the world is part of the New Apostolic DNA” (Transforming Power of Revival, Chapter 14). 

New power orientation. NAR churches believe in Holy Spirit supernatural power; they believe all gifts are active for today. “It is common place to observe active ministries of healing, demonic deliverance, spiritual warfare, prophecy, falling in the spirit, spiritual mapping, prophetic acts, fervent intercession and so on. More emphasis on the heart than on the mind” (Transforming Power of Revival, Chapter 14).

So as we can see, the New Apostolic Reformation is not a made up title for those who oppose charismatics. The founder of this movement was “Apostle” C. Peter Wagner, and he had an outline on how this face of Christianity was to change, and his vision has been met with success.  The NAR is the fastest growing form of Christianity on a global level, but yet it has crept into most churches unaware. It has infiltrated by way of popular worship music (such as Bethel music and Jesus culture), and more exciting ways of doing church. “No more boring church”! That’s the statement I heard from a “prophet” at my own church. “God will not put up with religious spirits”, he would say. If you don’t submit to this new leadership, you will be missing out on a great world revival. These are statements to prevent you from questioning what these new prophets and Apostles have to say.

Churches now have many supernatural schools of ministry where the emphasis is on encountering the Holy Spirit. After I left the NAR church I was alarmed at the many programs in churches that stem from popular Bethel Church, in Redding California. The New Apostolic Reformation is nothing new, but instead has its roots formed from the Latter Rain movement. The Latter rain movement in the 1940’s, taught that God was pouring out a “latter rain”, just like the day of Pentecost before our Lord returns. This movement was centered around revival meetings in Sasketchawan Canada. This movement like the NAR, believes in divine healing, and the restoration of Apostles and Prophets. Assembly of God churches denounced this movement in 1949. When the latter rain began it was called “The last great outpouring that was to consummate God’s plans on this Earth”. A book called “Atomic Power with God”, by Franklin Hall influenced many involved in the Latter Rain. Franklin Hall taught on revival doctrine centered on fasting, and subduing the Earth, as well a “body felt salvation”. Franklin Hall promoted a baptism where one could be free from sin and sickness called the “Holy Ghost fire”. In this body felt salvation, he claimed that it was 700% greater than ordinary healing power”. His teachings taught that this great baptism would “heal them from all sickness, tiredness and even body odor”. It also promised that one could achieve immortality. 

The New Apostolic Reformation differs from the latter rain movement only by name, but it’s doctrines are the same. The latter rain movement was steeped in elitism, and it was believed this outpouring would even be greater than the book of Acts. A man named Bill Hamon wrote a book, called “Apostles, Prophets, and the Coming Moves of God”. Bill Hamon became involved with Wagner and brought the latter rain doctrine into the New Apostolic Reformation from it’s very beginning, and C. Peter Wagner wrote the foreward to his book. Bill Hamon taught on the Manifest Sons of God doctrine. According to Bill Hamon, “The manifest sons of God doctrine teaches that these sons will be equal to Jesus Christ: immortal, sinless, perfected sons who have partaken of the divine nature. They have every right to be called gods and will be gods”(Prophets and the prophetic movement). Bill Hamon taught that the sons of God will be subduing the Earth in order for Christ to reappear. “Widespread spiritual warfare will result with the sons of God doing battle with Satan, the non-Christian nations of this world will be defeated. Once the Earth is subdued, Jesus will come back to Earth”(Prophets and the prophetic movement). Bill  Hamon rejects the rapture, and the manifest sons of God doctrine is the birthing place for Kingdom Now or Dominion Theology. Dominionism is a doctrine of the New Apostolic Reformation. We will discuss Dominion theology further down. 

C. Peter Wagner was a visionary on how the church was to change. What exactly does that look like? Leadership is completely changing. Those in the church are rising to leadership, not by training at an accredited Bible college but are now being trained in conferences by receiving an “anointing”. There they can just grab and get whatever gift they want “imparted” to them. 

The authority structure is changing. Instead of an organization or governing church body, we have sometimes a single Apostle as overseer of the church with no accountability for anything, including finances. Because they are viewed as anointed by God, they are never questioned, and many will follow their leading, not wanting to miss out on a great move of God.

Ministry focus is shifting. It’s no longer about the gospel of Jesus Christ, but about the gospel of the “kingdom”. It is about bringing heaven to Earth, but less focus on the eternity of one’s soul. NAR churches are constantly seeking “revival”, signs and wonders, while also seeking  the “presence” of God. Biblical Christianity is about faith, not chasing signs and  manifestations of God. “Only an evil and adulterous generation seeks after a sign”(Matthew 16:4). The gospel of the “kingdom” is related to kingdom Now theology, and is setting up God’s kingdom here on Earth, while forgetting that Jesus said: “My kingdom is not from this world”. 

A new worship style has emerged, and it is turning it into a form of idolatry. The music is breathtaking and seductive. The songs played are filled with repetitive words, and often are wrong theologically. Popular music such as Bethel Music, Jesus Culture, and Hillsong have become favorites to play at many churches, while opening the doors wide open to their church programs, and doctrines. We now worship to “shift atmospheres”. Somehow our worship can open “portals” to heaven. Why are we constantly seeking to feel God’s presence? Does the Holy spirit not live inside of us? Psalm 139:7 teaches us “Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?”

New prayer forms have taken over. Jesus taught us how to pray;
“And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. “This, then, is how you should pray: “‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 1your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one” (Matthew 6:7-13). Instead focus on prayer forms that are straight out of new age practices. We no longer pray for God’s will, but command things, as if we are little god’s. The focus is not on simple prayer,  but contemplative forms such as “soaking”, circle prayers, and even labyrinth prayers. These all have more in common with witchcraft than they do with Christianity.

Then we have a new outreach coupled with a new power orientation. There is a huge emphasis on going outside the doors of the church, which is good, but the gospel isn’t  being preached, and instead we focus on giving people an “encounter”. Evangelism consists of finding people to pray for healing, and giving them displays of  the Holy Spirit.  The Bible says faith comes by hearing;  are these people hearing the gospel while being evangelized? Or are they merely just having a supernatural encounter of some sort? The NAR conferences such as, the Awakening in Australia, speak to the droves of people coming there to get saved through a power encounter. Just the title alone sounds New Age. What exactly  are they awakening? The NAR has seen explosive growth, and has almost taken over places like Africa, South America, Asia, and  Australia. Are we truly making disciples or mass false converts? NAR also places an emphasis on strategic level spiritual warfare, and inner healing that adds to Christ’s finished work on the cross. Instead of faith in Jesus to set us free, we now have Christians who are being put into bondage by deliverance ministries, and seeking healing through SOZO. SOZO is an inner healing ministry that has it’s roots in theosophy, and puts people in a hypnotic- like state,  even recovering false memories that have torn apart families.

The New Apostolic Reformation is real and it is rising. The way of truth is being blasphemed. The face of Christianity is changing, and it’s going undetected. The church is changing in major ways, as more New Age practices infiltrate, and Biblical understanding is becoming less important.  NAR has infected most churches with a very dangerous doctrine known as Dominionism or Kingdom Now theology. The end times church isn’t looking up for the blessed return of our savior; instead the church is busy planning to take over the world, and it’s seven spheres of influence. The seven spheres of influence is something known as the Seven Mountain Mandate. The seven mountains are education, religion, family, business, government/military, arts/entertainment, and media. While this sounds great to just “Christianize” everything, it is also militant and forceful. God does not command world takeover, he commands making disciples and spreading the true gospel.

So here we have a movement taking over churches, disregarding the importance of scripture, syncretizing the occult with Christianity, and preparing for world domination. What about those who won’t conform? What about those who are Christians who do not accept these new wineskins, but choose to trust scripture over man? Well, they will have to be removed, and the Earth cleansed by these new manifest sons of God. Jesus  won’t return until his kingdom has been set up on Earth by mere man. It is up to Kingdom Now adherents to usher in Christ’s return. So let’s recap. We have the occult entering the church, coupled with Biblical illiteracy, and we are going to usher in Christ’s return, while cleansing the Earth of those that get in the way, all while welcoming the return of “Christ”. This is close to New Age spirituality, which is also calling for a shift in humanity to become co-redeemers of the Earth, and those who do not evolve will have to somehow disappear. 

Rick Joyner from Morningstar Ministries teaches on Dominionist agenda known as “Joel’s army”. Joel’s army sees itself as an end times army that will perform miracles, take dominion of  Earth and execute judgement. Joyner speaks of a vision of a coming civil war between Christians. Joyner states, “What is about to come to Earth is not just revival, or another awakening; it is a veritable revolution. This vision was given in order to begin awakening those who are destined to radically change the course and even the very definition of Christianity”. Rick Joyner speaks of destroying those passive Christians who refuse to unite with them. The new order of the Dominionists will take over.

“This army of which Joel speaks is about to be revealed…they will take cities. They will burst through the enemy’s strongholds and take houses. The very heaven and Earth will be shaken because of this great army…..the time has come”. ~ Rick Joyner

This new breed of Christianity does not exist in our Holy scriptures and is leading people into total apostasy. Jesus’s true disciples keep his word, going throughout the world to make disciples, not take over the world by force. The Kingdom Now crowd actually believes they have the right to call down judgments from heaven. There is only one judge and all power has been given to him……..JESUS!! All of this is a lie from the ruler of this world. The same lie echoes….”if you would just bow down and worship me….I will give you all the kingdoms of the Earth”! But the King has already spoken….”MY KINGDOM IS NOT FROM THIS WORLD”! 

The New apostolic reformation seeks to restore the office of Apostle and Prophet, although it is so much more. True Biblical Apostles were uniquely appointed as eyewitnesses of Jesus’s resurrection. Jesus chose each one individually and personally. Seeing the resurrected Christ was a requirement for being an Apostle, and Paul understood this. “Then he appeared to James, and then to the Apostles. And last of all he appeared to me also, as to one abnormally born” (Corinthians 15:6-8). Here Paul seems to refer to himself as the last Apostle commissioned by Jesus. NAR proponents like to use Ephesians 4…..”And He himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers”…..However, if we look at Ephesians 2, that five- fold office for today diminishes because Apostles and Prophets are listed as the very foundation of the building up of the church. “Having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief cornerstone, in whom the whole building, being fitted together grows into a temple in the Lord”. Jesus as well as the Apostles and Prophets are joined together as the very foundation of Christianity. 

The New Apostolic Reformation is trying to lay another foundation other than Christ Jesus. The foundation has already been laid. “For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 3:11). Whatever man tries to build upon this foundation will be tested. But adding something new to it’s very foundation is something other than true Christianity, and it is evil at it’s core. Jesus warned about deception more than anything mentioned regarding the end times. It is more important than ever before to know our Bibles. NAR is a virus infecting far and wide. Keep your eyes open for popular keywords, such as, Apostles, Prophets, destiny, the presence, the glory, revival, unity, awakening, five- fold ministry, portals, visionary, generals, firestarter, influence, Dominion, kingdom now, architect, spiritual mapping, strategic level warfare, spirit of religion or Jezebel, leviathan, Ahab…..insert spirit here.

I have just barely scratched the surface of what this diabolical movement entails. As someone who used to be involved in the occult and new age, then attending an NAR church, I am well aware of the absolute deception, and heartache involved. Many coming out of these movements either go completely new age, or walk away from their faith forever. God has left us his word, and it is up to us to search for truth, and compare anything new to what scripture says. I have started a new Facebook group for believers that have been involved in a NAR church, and would love to discuss with you. Come join us at the Narrow Path group on Facebook. 

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Tabachnik, R. (2011, September 09). C. Peter Wagner’s Response to Increased Exposure of the New Apostolic Reformation. Retrieved from http://www.talk2action.org/story/2011/9/9/133916/9724

Geivett, R. D., & Pivec, H. (2014). A New Apostolic Reformation?: A biblical response to a worldwide movement. WOOSTER, OHIO: WEAVER Book Company.

Wagner, C. P. (2004). Churchquake. Taipei, Taiwan: Phillily Publisher.

Deway, B. (2017, December). The Roots and Fruits of the New Apostolic Reformation. Retrieved from http://cicministry.org/commentary/issue103.htm

Hamon, B. (1997). Apostles prophets and the coming moves of God: Gods end-time plans for His church and planet Earth. Shippensburg, PA: Destiny Image.

The New Apostolic Reformation: Influence and Teachings. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.apologeticsindex.org/

Rivalland, N. (n.d.). The Doctrine of deification. Retrieved from http://www.deceptioninthechurch.com/deification.html

Glimpses of My Testimony: Part 3

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it”. ~Matthew 7:13-14

If I only knew how much these words would define my life.  As soon as I said yes to writing a book, this scripture literally showed up everywhere. “Fine, I got it God”! So The Narrow Path would be the title to my book. But at the time I didn’t understand the magnitude of just how narrow that path would become. It was a miracle, an absolute miracle that I had been saved from such a web of lies, but I never expected to find it in the church. Understand this…..there is a false gospel, and a different Jesus. That same new age version of Jesus exists in a growing movement known as the New Apostolic Reformation. It is a mystical miracle movement that seeks to bring back office of Apostle and prophet who receive new revelation. God’s word has merely become a side dish, instead of the main course. The NAR is rapidly growing, and will deceive many. 

“Be assured there is nothing new in theology except that which is false”~ C.H. Spurgeon

 

Growing up I was always attracted to the mystical. I had various supernatural experiences that led me down a very dangerous path. Fast forward to my early twenties, and I became very involved with yoga and Eastern spirituality. I thought I could just combine Jesus with my practice of yoga and mysticism. I considered myself a Christian mystic. At a certain point in my life I began questioning my spirituality, and seeking to discover who Jesus truly was. As I began to pray to God for answers I had a kundalini awakening that felt blissful at first, but quickly turned into a nightmare, and I became depressed and suicidal. This all became part of God’s plan to shine His light upon the darkness. Having the scales removed from my eyes completely dissolved my view of truth. But I knew that I must leave all behind and follow Jesus.

As I began trying out churches I found myself bored and wanting more. Eventually I felt led to attend a small church close to my house. The first time I heard the pastor preach it was powerful! He was charismatic, and such a great speaker. As time went on, I absolutely loved this church! Everyone there always showered me with such love. It was just what my soul was thirsty for. I remember the first time attending a monthly event called ‘Friday Flow’. It was a spontaneous night of worship, where people could just flow in the spirit. There would be repetitive type worship songs, and prayer to induce  a meditative type state and change the atmosphere. People there would flow in the holy Spirit and have visions and prophecy. I felt completely changed and renewed. As I sat observing and quietly praying, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit encompass my entire being; a warm blanket of peace surrounded me. In an instant I felt my heart soften, and realized for the first time the love of the Father. That was the night I completely gave my life to Christ, and changed dramatically.

I immediately noticed huge changes in myself, and would dive into God’s word, and fast from food. I was trying desperately to get to know my savior. The Lord was with me during this time, but I had no idea how much some of these intense feelings of love would fade. This was a confusing time for me, as I was also going through intense spiritual warfare after my baptism. One thing I always seemed to notice was every time at our Friday flow meetings, and after I would experience the “presence”, I would feel very oppressed. I chalked this up to spiritual warfare, and thought the demons were mad that I was experiencing God. Currently, I’m not too sure that was the case; perhaps I was opening myself up to warfare by engaging in mystical practices. Now I did experience things that could only be from God, but I started to question the manifesting of the environment. I now understand conjuring up a presence, and getting into a trance like state is nothing more than sorcery.

My church seemed very obsessed with signs and wonders, and “experiencing” God. People would get slain in the spirit and often line up to have my pastor (who called himself Apostle), lay hands on them and prophecy. At times he would touch my forehead, and I would go on to have visions and vivid dreams. Sometimes I’d leave feeling high, others may describe this as being “drunk in the spirit”. Everyone spoke in tongues, and I wanted this gift as well. I started becoming obsessed with the gifts and being in God’s so-called presence. Often when I was prophesied over the details were surprisingly accurate, and just looking into the Apostle’s eyes had almost a hypnotic effect. As someone who had been involved in the occult most my life, I have to say the environment felt a bit like witchcraft, and I started to question the difference between psychics and prophets. Many times, at these Friday prophetic worship sessions I would wonder how  this ‘Apostle’ was able to manipulate the environment and call up the Holy Spirit at will. Was the Holy Spirit a power/force or person? If a person, does he not act because of God’s will, not man’s? These are questions I would just push to the side and ignore.

One night I went home and was trying to speak in tongues, and start babbling, when I felt a force rise within me, and I felt something else take control. This excited me, and I thought I was speaking in tongues. However, the next morning I went to open my Bible, and wham! I felt complete darkness surround me. The whole day I felt angry, irritated, bothered by lights and sound. I would sometimes go into rages, and even my son was acting up and strange all day. Later that night I was reading more about tongues, and instantly came across something that pierced my soul with the worst conviction. I knew in an instant God let evil spirits attack me, because the way I tried to conjure up tongues was very wrong. I immediately broke down in tears, and begged God for forgiveness. I was chasing the wrong things; first in new age, now in Christianity. After praying to God about all this, that very day I heard the constant Bible verse “test the spirits”. That same verse even popped on my radio station while driving home from school one day. I got the message loud and clear.

I will never forget the sudden coldness my pastor showed towards me when I asked him if we should test the spirits while trying to get a prayer language. His reaction was very telling. One experience that stood out to me was the next time we had a meeting, which was really like a “soaking” prayer meeting, I remember praying to God through it and asking him to protect me, because I no longer felt confident. Well, strangely enough, God’s “presence” did not show up that night. The pastor seemed shocked, and I felt like I did something wrong. However, God’s presence probably showed up more than I know that evening. Never-the-less, I chose to stay at this church because I made very close friendships there, and I loved the pastor and his wife. They had become like family to me; in fact, the pastor was friends with several of my own family members. I thought this was all meant to be, and this was the church I was always looking for. Being able to tangibly feel God’s presence in a mystical way was everything I searched for. How blessed I felt. Sure, I experienced some weird stuff, but I chalked it up to being somehow my own fault, or just common spiritual warfare.

Things really took a turn for me when my pastor brought his ‘spiritual fathers’ grandson in to our church. He was called a prophet, one that the Holy Spirit told to him was “one of three in all the land that he was raising up for this hour”. The first time I heard this prophet speak, and chant in tongues I was mortified. Everyone around me was almost hypnotized by the presence that entered the room. Except me. I will never forget the absolute dread, and
how literally sick to my stomach I felt. In that moment, my 6-year-old son turned to me in total fear, and said “mom, there’s something very wrong here”.  I knew God was speaking confirmation to me through the innocence of a child. It was completely overwhelming, and this “prophet” was saying things that made zero sense. He was speaking from his own imagination, and even using new age terms. After going home that night I felt strange and had tingling all over my body. I even felt hyper-sexualized. I knew then, that this was kundalini energy. I had experienced kundalini before, and I knew this was NOT the Holy Spirit. I knew in my spirit things were wrong, but just couldn’t bring myself to realize this was all a lie. I began researching who my pastor’s spiritual father was, and he was a head Apostle who sent out other men to start churches under him. He was helping finance these churches. I found videos of him comparing himself to Apostle Paul, and saying he was even better than the 12 Apostles; even teaching that Jesus was a son just like us. It was saying we can be just like Jesus. This is a lie. We are not little god’s. This is Satan’s biggest deception, and what it always comes down to; minimize God, exalt man.

I still stayed at this church for another year, because of feeling like I was experiencing God, and didn’t want to throw that away. I was writing my book about kundalini/new age to Christ and was going to include this church in my book. However, I could no longer ignore the red flags. I humbled myself before God and begged for truth. If I was going to be writing a book, that could be considered teaching, and I wanted to make sure I spoke truth always, because I would be held accountable to God for everything I spoke of him. Well, God honored that prayer, and my whole world fell apart. I was having vivid dreams of my church and seeing spirits inside, I was having nightmares again, and visions of demons (this also happened to me with kundalini). Then my kids started telling me they were hearing voices telling them to hate God. It wasn’t long before that same prophet was going to be visiting my church again. The night before he came to church, I fasted and prayed. Well that night I had a very vivid dream. In this dream the prophet was preaching, and all these people listening looked completely lost, and then I saw a spiritual power fall on people, and it was demonic. I went to see him speak the next day and then vowed I would never return to that church. He was teaching a totally new age form of spirituality, and dominionist theology. They are teaching we must usher in Christ’s return. This is no different than what occultists believe. They also believe in ushering in a false Christ, a type of spiritual evolution. Being in the occult my whole life, I was floored at the connection. The great deception Jesus warned about is coming through the church.

There is so much more I could say about this, but this is just a snippet of what I experienced, but I want you to understand that just because someone claims Jesus’s name, or talks about the Holy Spirit, does not mean they are following Jesus of the Bible. Everything must be tested by the word of God. We must become good Bereans, who were considered very noble for testing everything that came out of the Apostle’s mouth. I even had a profound spiritual fire experience while attending this church. It felt like absolute ecstasy, peace, love, and a burning all over my body. It made me feel exalted, and special. But remember who Satan is; he comes to tempt. I’m not someone who can be offered money, or fame, but I craved spiritual experience. He could have given me a mountain top experience so that I would chase this instead of God himself. It’s no different than craving after a drug. We are to walk by faith, not questing after power, and a thrill.

When I walked away from this church, it was the hardest decision I ever had to make. I suffered severe heart break, and very bad spiritual warfare. There are spiritual powers attached to these mystical movements. I felt like God was not there, and like he had turned his back on me. I started to believe that everything was a lie and sunk back into horrific depression. But this was a time of testing. Would I follow God or man? Even though I was being tormented inside, would I still follow what was in God’s word, or run to what was comfortable and made me feel good? I begged God for truth; even if it destroyed me, and that’s exactly what he was doing. Through it all I chose God. He has since healed me in ways I can never imagine. I have no doubt everything I went through was for a purpose. In the middle of writing my book, God came along and changed my story. Not only did I experience kundalini power from new age, I also found it in the church, and God has walked me through it all, to help speak His truth. My hope for anyone reading this is that you too will seek his truth within his word, and not fall for the enemy’s seduction and lies.

Experiencing all this made me question God. What was real and what wasn’t? I had all these supernatural experiences that sometimes led to panic attacks. But, I truly did change. I loved Jesus with all my heart, and much of my life did a complete 180. After months of prayer, this is how God answered me: “The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. (1 Kings 19:11-13)
Reading these verses struck my heart. All the crazy feelings, and even fire I experienced were loud noises to get my focus off what mattered. But the true Holy Spirit was the quiet voice. He wasn’t in the manifestations, but He was there all along, tugging at my heart, showing me the way. He truly did heal me, and He was everything the word said He would be: self-control, peace, and comfort, love and more than anything TRUTH.